Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Snagglepuss

So much chaos, so much drama. All I was trying to do was help. I am sorry for the confusion I caused and for the shyt that happened.
Has anyone wondered what the person that everyone depends on to be cheerful and encouraging does when they get stressed? Let me tell you what. They hide it, because if they show it, then people will think that they are mad, and then that makes it worse. But this not showing of emotions builds up to a max point. But can they show? NO. People are depending on them. And their nature is not to let people down. This is why when they have problems, people freak out. These normally calm people FREAK OUT and dont act normal. OH NO?!?!

Sorry.

So, I'm appologizing for attempting to help. I realized today that there is no one that can help this but the people in it and God. This shyt isnt getting resolved without God's intervention. No I am not going for pity or anything. But I am also not taking the blame for this. This shyt is all their, and I was SO FREAKIN HAPPY when he told me to stay out of it. YOU HAVE NO IDEA! HAPPINESS! I don't want any part of this. I can't help them at all. I make it worse. Yup. No helpo fromo meo.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I love you to peices. I want us to be okay. But I am leaving it up to you and hoping for the best. Just because I am not talking to you doesn't mean I hate or am mad at you. Its giving you space. And me space. You come to me this time. I love you. That covers everything, but just because it covers everything doesn't mean that the consequences go away.

Call me.



I love you.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


So many things have gone through my mind the last five hours. So many thoughts, so much anger, so much sadness. Confusion. I don't know what to do. I have to trust that it will all work out. Oh God this is so hard! What lesson am I supposed to be learning from this? Or is the lesson not for me? And that makes the lesson me learning how to be used by You.
Stuff would kill me, or I would kill me, but God holds me when I fall and doesn't let me go. The verse of my life currently is Romans 8:28a "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him." Without this verse, and the faith to believe it, wow. I don't want to think about it.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Girl, I heart you. But I'm gonna wait till you want me. I can't start anything. Don't forget about me though. I'll be here waiting.

Posted by Jessica :: 2:58 PM :: 0 Comments:

Post a Comment

---------------oOo---------------

Monday, October 24, 2005

During and after our weekly trip to the Pla Mor

its ben.. in shades man....

I look like I have a moustache. kissy face de camera

What are you looking at?

the killer boots on me

Ask me why we were standing out in 35 degreee weather, and I wouldn't be able to tell you. October, and Alyssa and I were freezing in out winter coats. We got Ben, Jesse, Nic, Jay, and Lyss.

Ben........ in mah boots........... oh gah...

All decked out.....

Posted by Jessica :: 11:58 PM :: 1 Comments:

Post a Comment

---------------oOo---------------